i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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