from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
