why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
