I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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