too bad you live with your parents still
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
