The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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