3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Be still, my beating vagina.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
