So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
