how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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