'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Redeem this text for a blowjob
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
