Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
