I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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