Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
