final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
