she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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