His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
