On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
