remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
