In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
