I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
