I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
