Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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