I'm pants shitting drunk right now
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
