With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm at about main and main street
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
