If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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