Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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