Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
