I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
