My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
