If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
