I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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