Me too!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
