Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
