me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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