Small penises have feelings too.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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