we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
