this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
