did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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