Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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