She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize