weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My vagina is officially offended.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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