Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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