he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
