Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
