Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
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