Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
