never play flip cup with pint glasses
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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