i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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