Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
