Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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