no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
