Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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