she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
