Soap is not a condiment
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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