It's like God shit irony all over that family
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize