oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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