Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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