I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
