He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
