it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
